The List

Well my monthly or bimonthly posts that I aspired to write got put on the back burner these last six months. It is fair to say that a lot has been going on, and for those that have seen my mother's facebook status now, know why. So let me play catch up and see where this all goes...

My beautiful Meredith just turned 8 months old on the 5th. It is hard to believe that she is 8 months old already. I am a firm believer now, that time goes quicker with each child because it feels like just yesterday we were welcoming her into this world. She is the energizer bunny just like her sister was. To say she is underdeveloped or not reaching milestones is the biggest lie I could tell. Meredith was crawling by 5 months old and sitting up on her own. She is determined to walk right now, but gives me a hard attack when she decides to stand up on a surface, turns and lets go-like she just did right now, let me catch my breath.
Meredith can't get enough of Addison. She lights up when Addison comes in a room and jabbers at her like she understands every word she says. She follows her everywhere and plays in the playroom like she is a big girl with her sister. She is her motivation to hit milestone after milestone so she can really play with her. Which means she is getting too big, too quick.  Other exciting things about Meredith would be that  her first word was 'mama'.  She is currently working on her fifth and sixth tooth, and has learned to sleep in her bed this last week because I have been letting her co-sleep for my sanity while Kevin was TDY for the past month.

Addison is doing great as well. My little blonde hair, blue eyed beauty is full of energy and life. She potty trained herself in January and has been doing fantastic ever since. She has broken out of her shell and is learning to let go of me and try things on her own (thank goodness!). She is still a momma's girl, but worships the ground her daddy walks on. She is in this ballet mode as well- which I have no idea where it came from. Addison had her daddy convinced she was in ballet classes when he was TDY because she was constantly performing little routines for him. She is such a little diva. We have also been loving those fun changes that come with toddler hood -insert sarcasm here. Holy smokes! With the drop of a hat we can be happy, sad, full on tantrum, talking back, laughing, to full on meltdown. But I can say we never have a dull moment. Addison goes to a toddler program every day and loves it, but can't wait to turn 3 so she can join her best friend Tristen.

My student teaching didn't happen this past January like I had hoped. I didn't get placed and was told to reapply and try again in the fall. I am praying hard that it happens, but after a year long break, the idea of doing it now gives me some anxiety of changing our routine that we have going. But I am so ready and eager to be done with my degree and to finally say I am done with my schooling (for now). Until my start date for student teaching in September, I have been spending quality time with the girls and just enjoying life. I am trying to get into things that I wouldn't usually do during my free time, but am taking advantage of right now since I have all the time in the world. I dipped my hands into the crocheting pool and have become pretty good at it. Still have a ways to go, but I can make a scarf so I am happy. :o) Next up is to master my sewing machine so I can make some dresses, if I can ever figure out how to tighten my stinking stitches... Then I will feel like I conquered all during my year long break (yikes).

Kevin has been pretty busy with work. He has been coming and going a lot these past few months with training, but when we have him home we are so happy- especially this sleep deprived momma.

My big reason for not writing has been because all I have wanted to do was blog about my mom and haven't been able to share what has been going because of the unknown. So let me begin with this story- yes tissues might be needed. In October, a month after Meredith was born, mom started to get really sick. Most of you know my mom is a breast cancer survivor,but if you don't here is a little background. My senior year in high school she got diagnosed with breast cancer, went back to the states for surgery and came back here for chemo. Well, chemo took a massive toll on her body and sucked a lot of energy out of her and damaged her heart pretty bad. This past fall, She started to put on a lot of water weight which was affecting her heart and leaving her extremely short of breath. This was when she became a visitor to the hospital quite frequently which led to a long stay there. They were able to regulate things with her meds for a while, but this wasn't the 'fix' that was needed. As her stay continued in the hospital, the doctors decided that mom had two options. A- regulate things with medicine or B-you need a new heart. Talk about a scary thing to hear. It was like you can prepare to hear anything, but to be told you need a new heart, that's like a slap in face. Well lots of prayers were said and I was in denial. My mom didn't really need a new heart, hers was fine, she would be fine- was what I kept telling myself. My mother has been through enough and I just couldn't believe that this was the hand she was being dealt. But things didn't play out like I had hoped for. Mom was told that medication wasn't going to cure what had been done and the only hope would be a new heart.

Mom was able to come home from the hospital right before Thanksgiving (big reason to give thanks!!). It was a low key event, people wise, but the house was full of love and good food as always. December quickly was upon us and mom was still not feeling her greatest and we were told the process for the transplant would need to start soon. Where? Here or stateside? When? How? Who? How much? The questions were endless. You could see and still see the stress of this on my parents. Did they make the right choice? What about the language barrier? How will I get there? What is the process like here? Sooooooooo many questions. Needless to say, mom opted to do it here because her family is here. After going to two different heart transplant centers, mom picked her place and felt comfortable there- big reason to say yay! Then the next obstacle came, would they take an American living over here. Well, mom was the first, so that was a debacle in itself, but the final word came down and the transplant team said yes, and tricare was on board too. Hallelujah!

Now what seemed would be a quick process on the list, turned out to be a 6 month long process. Talk about nail biting! Tests were done, and we thought that was it for the list. Wrong. More tests were done and we thought she would be on the list. Wrong yet again. Well then the meeting was supposed to take place in March. Then April. It seemed like no one was giving us an answer. It started to feel like this was a bad joke and she was getting no where and no help was going to be given to my mom. Until today. Today, my mother received the phone call that we have been anxiously anticipating. The phone call that meant she was on the list. I had the pleasure of being there with her when she got that call. Seeing her face break into a smile was just what we needed after this wait which felt like eternity. It wasn't 'THE' call for a heart, but it was 'THE' call that she has the option to have a better life. One where she isn't winded walking down the steps, or up the street to the neighbors. One where waking up and going downstairs won't put her back to bed. The call that means she will be back to my mom soon. Hopefully soon. I feel morbid in the sense that I want it to happen. That means someone's life has to end and I am mad at myself for wanting that. But I don't want that. Maybe I can't look at this like that. I just want my mom to be given a chance to live her life to the fullest because I believe she has a lot more to do on this earth before her time is over. I just need my mom. I need my mom to be here for much longer. I need my mom to meet all my babies (don't take this as MANY more, just one more) and all my sibling's children one day. I need my mom because I can't imagine life without her. She is my best friend. She is the person in my corner even when I am wrong, talking sense into me. She is the person I strive to be. She is my mom. And I am not ready to live life without her. So here is to praying, like I have never prayed before. Here is to hoping that we get this phone call for a heart that will give my mom her life back. Sure, she won't be back to herself fully, but to have a mom that doesn't look like she is exhausted and clinging to her last string, would be the biggest blessing that we could get. So here is the update on what has been going on in my life, my family's life and what I will be keeping you all posted on along with my family. Until next time.